Horrorscope...

I am a Libra.
(Also known as "Scales")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best. "

Oh how flattering :)